Translation (via Google translate):
aphobia in numbers
of asexual people over the age of 30 have heard the question “but do you at least masturbate?” in the workplace, in relation to their sexual orientation.
to understand the size of this data, consider that not all the people who answered are “out” in the workplace, not all have a job, and some work autonomously.
data taken from the annual survey of the “Collettivo Asessuale Carrodibuoi” association, visible on carrodibuoi.it
discrimination against asexual people is called aphobia
ACT Aces: Asexual Experiences Survey
«“Much Worse Stories”
It is significant in itself that so many respondents chose not to tick clearly relevant boxes because they did not think their experience was “serious enough”.
Many write-in responses began with phrases such as: “So I don’t know if this counts, but…” or “I know other people have had worse stuff…”
I have been catcalled, have had my ass grabbed, and had unsolicited nude photos sent to my phone, i luckily have been only minorly harassed but it still is valid and traumatic and I feel so much empathy for those who have that sexual abuse trauma.
-Taylor (Location Not Given)
Taylor describes having their “ass grabbed” and being sent nude photos without consent, actions which amount to criminal assaults in many jurisdictions. They describe this as being “only minorly harassed” and express compassion for the suffering of others, in part by subordinating their own trauma.
This attitude is representative of many respondents, each claiming others have been through more trauma than themselves, while they seem to want to justify talking at all about their own feelings, even as they diminished them by comparing their trauma to the that of the unnamed and unspecified“others”.»
«81.7% of all respondents reported experiencing at least one form of discrimination, oppression or violence. As the write-in answers led to new forms of abuse being added to each of the three original categories, the final results were consolidated into four new groups.
13.3% of respondents experienced some form of Institutional Discrimination. This primarily covers medical and workplace incidents, but also occasionally schools or religious institutions.
49.9% of respondents either told stories about, or ticked the boxes “Social exclusion” or “Exclusion from LGBTQIA+ spaces”. This also includes a small number of write-in stories that weren’t about specific acts of deliberate exclusion but about feeling excluded by the world in general.
Verbal/Emotional Abuse received the highest number of responses, at 75.4%. This category covers insults, acephobic rhetoric, shaming, and many instances of relationship abuse.
The Physical/Sexual Violence category contains a small number of cases of physical violence, and a larger number of experiences of sexual violence, from unwanted touching to rape. 13.0% of respondents experienced some form of violence.»
«4.1.1. Medical Discrimination (12.2%)
The majority of these stories were about doctors refusing to believe patients about their own sexual history or engaging in unethical, unprofessional or discriminatory behaviour.
There are some stories of doctors refusing to prescribe medication, provide emergency care or discuss issues unrelated to sex as a result of medical professionals fixating on “the libido problem”.
Both medical doctors and mental health professionals such as counsellors and therapists appeared in these stories.
I suffer from major depression, complex ptsd and various other diagnoses, when my doctor asked me about my sex life I briefly said that it wasn’t relevant because of my asexuality. The doctor then wanted to take me off of my meds that I needed, because he felt that my low libido was worse than me having suicidal thoughts. He kept saying it was my meds that caused it; despite me knowing and telling him that I’ve been identifying as asexual since I was 15 which was before I’d gotten on those medications.
He wouldn’t listen. I ended up in the e.r later because I got so depressed and was close to taking my own life. I had to switch doctors and I haven’t told my current one about my asexulity because I’m scared that they’ll take me off my meds again. –Lore (Sweden)
I went to urgent care for the third time after I couldn’t get a UTI to heal with the antibiotics they gave me and the female doctor flat out was like, “This is an STD and I won’t give you anymore meds unless you ADMIT you’re sexually active because you’re 26 and 26 year olds have sex. You are not a virgin and you are hurting yourself with your lies.” It was really scarring. –Isabella (USA)
4.1.2. Workplace Discrimination (1.9%)
This was less common than medical abuse, but there were more “Yes” responses than the survey authors expected. Some of the workplace discrimination involved being harassed at work, including sexually harassed. There was one story about being asked deeply personal questions by a boss during a one on one management conversation, and another about being left harassing pamphlets by coworkers.
I had a shift lead who continuously made sexual jokes and asked sexual questions about my life. After telling him im ace, he’s consistuantly made fun of me and encouraged others to make the same jokes and ask me the same questions. He’s also let me go from work early several times because “i cant pull the ‘sell them with sex’ approach with people” (its a pizza shop why the fuck do we have to use sex to sell it???) –Emma (USA)
4.1.3. Religious Exclusion (0.4%)
Write-in answers identified six cases of religious exclusion. These stories primarily related to disapproval of the person’s romantic orientation and insistence on the importance of marriage. These incidents are discussed in more detail in Section 1.6. Religion (pg.18).
My parents are strictly against anything to do with the LBGT+ community. They do not know of my orientation and may never know, but they talk about the community like a plague. And though I still find myself (romantically) attracted to the opposite gender, if they where to find out they would contact the church and be in despair for days. And though I’m unsure if I where to be kicked out, I know I would be shunned. -Sophie (USA)»
«4.3. Verbal/Emotional Abuse
Initially, seven forms of verbal or emotional abuse were included as checkboxes in this section of the survey. Five additional categories were added based on write-in responses (in yellow). These categories are recommended for any future survey.
The largest category, more than three quarters of respondents overall reported experiencing some
form of verbal or emotional abuse. Quantitative data about relationship abuse was not collected, but there was an opportunity to tell a story on that theme: 77 respondents did so. (Several also told stories under sexual violence that also fit this category).
The most frequent offender in the area of relationship abuse was “Asexuality blamed by partner for relationship problems”. 11.79% of respondents checked this box.»
«13% of respondents reported at least 1 incident of physical or sexual violence.
The nature of the stories provided by respondents are in many cases potentially distressing. Included below are some representative examples, and readers are advised to read with caution and be mindful of self -care.
My best friend assualted me when I said i did not want to join her and her boyfriend for a threesome. She threw me on the ground and beat me up, grabbed my hair and held my head back while her boyfriend poured rum down my throat -Linda (USA)
In fear of either being raped, physically or mentally abused by someone, I chose to have sex even though I didnt want to. -Quinn (Location Not Given)
My now ex-husband required that I provide him with at least two intimate sexual acts each week. Ten years ago he told me that the reason he had an affair and
contemplated ending our marriage was because I was not providing sufficient intimate sexual acts. That threat was held over my head for ten years. Under that duress, I have engaged in sexual acts that I did not want to be a part of at least twice a week for ten years. And it still wasn’t enough – throughout that 10 year period he had multiple affairs and has left me for his most recent sexual partner. -Ruby (Australia)
My ex forced himself on me because of my lack of interest in sex and sexual activity. And made me feel extreme guilt because he said I didn’t love him because I wasn’t interested in having sex with him -Lore (Sweden)
The first friend I ever told about my asexuality told me I was “too cute to be asexual”. He later took me out for drinks on my birthday, drugged me, and raped me in my own home. He tried to justify it later by saying that I didn’t know my own secret wants.
He raped me many times to try and convince me that I wasn’t asexual, and once time while trying to force my mouth open for oral sex he pulled the bottom bracket off of my braces. If I spoke about being uncomfortable with sex, he would suggest the idea of me drinking to get through it. –Aadya (India)»
«While it is difficult to compare the results of the full cohort (1595 respondents) with that of males only (91 respondents), this one statistic was sufficiently dramatic to warrant discussion.
The percentage of total respondents reporting rape and sexual assault is 4% and 9% respectively. For male-identifying respondents, the figures are much higher: 12% reported rape and 21% reported sexual assault (including the “Sexual Assault by Definition” category).»
«Male respondents who ticked the boxes for sexual assault and rape were less likely to share their story than female and non-binary respondents. Conversely, men who described sexual assaults in their stories were less likely to have checked the corresponding boxes. In many instances they
seemed unaware that what they have described is sexual assault or rape. This raises questions about what men know about consent and their rights to bodily autonomy – whether they are asexual or not.
A reminder must also be added here that the survey authors were unable to identify, except where that information was given, whether a respondent is transgender.»
See the whole survey here.
Written by Emilee. I hope people can relate. xD
Get 50% off one item and free shipping (on orders $20 or more) to the US & Canada (some exclusions apply) at evestoys.com with code “ECHO”! =D
Instead of spending a little time on a couple of drawings, I decided to spend a lot of time on ONE drawing and make it really good. I’d like to make more of these characters in the future when I have time. If I do, I’ll link them here.
N.S.F.W. version: TBD?
Support Echo on Patreon: patreon.com/echoisweird
Support Echo with coffee: ko-fi.com/echoisweird
If you want more of my weird face in your life,
see it at these internet locations near you (while supplies last):
Twitter —————– http://www.twitter.com/Echoisweird
Instagram ———– http://www.instagram.com/echoisweird
Art Instagram —– http://www.instagram.com/echoisweirdART
Tumblr —————- http://echoisweird.tumblr.com
Vlog Channel —— http://www.youtube.com/echoisweird
DeviantArt ———- http://echoisweird.deviantart.com/
Twitch —————- http://www.twitch.com/echoisweird
PO Box 6162
1900 W Carla Vista Dr.
Chandler, AZ 85246
Sometimes silly, sometimes serious, and always with lots of bad language and inappropriate graphics, here is a capsule view of the kinds of comments I get on my YouTube videos and through other channels regarding asexuality. And keeping track of how much fail I encountered was made easier with the handy-dandy Asexual Bingo card. (Believe me, I’ve heard EVERYTHING on it, but I had to cut a lot of stuff even to make this video.) If nothing else, this should give you an idea of how often certain sentiments are expressed and why these people’s knee-jerk condescending comments are not helping anyone and certainly aren’t doing much but making them look like their anger and frustration toward me for not wanting to have sex is way out of proportion for what people should be expressing about some stranger’s sex life.
The opening song is “Isabella” by the Mediæval Bæbes. And yes, I am really the age I say I am in the video. And thank you, yes my hair is pretty awesome.
Need more info on asexuality? I have a book out. Buy or borrow a copy of The Invisible Orientation: http://juliesondradecker.com/?page_id…
Want to know more about why these statements/questions are inappropriate? Read the info sheet with explanations:
If we come out to you, we probably don’t mind discussing our orientation, but pretty much anything recited in this video is probably a bad idea to say to us. . . . Don’t be afraid to talk to us or ask questions, but sometimes on the sensitive topics, you might be better off doing your own research. You may also like these for further reading/watching:
“How to Be an Asexual Ally,” my article:
Asexual Bingo (my video of much more offensive quotes): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncoHJo…
The Asexual Visibility and Education Network:
Thank you to my collaborators Nick, Axx, Kathryn, 65dgs, TungstenEdge, ampersandstringquartet, Dallas, Ace Amoeba, Chel, Rynn, Michael, CocoaPanda, Muffin, Sara Beth, and Raingoddess2040.
Check out the Sky News documentary to see the comments for yourself (there were many more than what I said here, some which are worse):
+ Facebook Comments: https://www.facebook.com/skynews/vide…
+ YouTube Comments: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzLrB…
+ Instagram: @theyasminbenoit
+ Twitter: @theyasminbenoit
+ Facebook: Yasmin Benoit – Model
+ Tumblr: yasminbenoit.tumblr.com
today some ace friends and i went to Tokyo Rainbow Pride where we were approached by a smug as fuck acephobic asshat. this video is dedicated to those who do not believe that acephobia and/or asexual erasure are a thing and to those who struggle dealing with people belittling the shit you deal with.
let there be video of acephobia & asexual erasure in action for the world to see.
※ what is acephobia?
fear, prejudice or discrimination against people within the asexual (ace) spectrum; the belief that asexuality is “unnatural”, “wrong” and/or a health issue that needs “correcting”.
※ what is asexual erasure?
denying the existence of asexuality, asexuals and other sexualities and people within the asexual spectrum; the lack of representation and misrepresentation of the asexual spectrum in the media.
visit me on Tumblr!
Va-Va-Bullshit: How Latina ‘Spicy & Sexy’ Stereotypes Affect Asexual Latinas
«Unsolicited advice from family members who “just don’t get asexuality” is a common occurrence, with Latinas recalling numerous times when they were told they “just haven’t found the right guy,” are immature or are in denial. But ideas about Latina bodies and sexuality also come from outside the family and beyond the Latino community. Greater society, perceiving Latinas as innately hypersexual, remark that asexual Latinas should “stop playing hard to get” and “take the stick out of their butt.” The underlying message in these comments, according to Foster, are always the same: You cannot possibly be anything other than what I say you are, and because I see you, Latina, as a sexual object, I have access to your body in a way that supersedes your autonomy and your right to your own body.»
«But characterizations of Latinas as inherently hypersexual and possessing contemptibly high fertility rates additionally produce another, more insidious form of harm; these myths make it impossible for asexual Latinas to exist in the country’s psyche, obliterating Latinas’ experiences from dominant discourses on asexuality and creating an unnecessary tension for asexual Latinas. Queenie, for instance, has been accused of abandoning her culture and trying to be white because, as a Latina, an identity embedded with notions of sexuality and motherhood, it’s thought that she can’t possibly be really asexual.»
Read the whole article here.
Is there anything you’re sick of hearing? Let me know in the comments! And feel free to follow me at:
Hey y’all,i am back! I hope all is well,this video has been written for a while now and finally it has been made…The title says a lot alone! and has got me thinking about my experiences with being Asexual AND an Ace activist/advocate in my neck of the woods (Western Pennsylvania),the reactions are truly a wide range…For those outside of our community (especially those who don’t know about us and are watching this video),please take this as a lesson that questions and these responses can be damaging and hurtful…If you are curious about us,please come at us with respect and humanity…That request is so simple…Thank you…..Please thumbs up this video,share,and hit that SUBSCRIBE AND NOTIFICATION BUTTON….Thank y’all for the support..
Ace Buttons: https://www.cafepress.com/+asexual+bu…
Ace Mugs: https://www.lookhuman.com/asexual+mugs
Info on Asexuality and more: https://www.asexuality.org/
Support fellow Ace channels: QueerAsCat: https://www.youtube.com/user/QueerAsC…
Yasmin Benoit: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk1N…
Janeil Darnell: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiNf…