Category: Being made uncomfortable

Submitted and translated by “L’afobia esiste” @stop.afobia_ita

An uncensored version of the screenshot exists here. The password is Sicnetpv.

Translation:

Girl: “Good evening, I don’t want to attack you or anything else, can I ask you to have a civile discussion? I’d like to understand why you hate so much asexual people”

Acephobe: “I don’t hate anyone and I never wrote about hating anyone. Where did you read it? Are you also dyslexic in addiction to having trauma related to sexuality?”
 
“However I repeat that there is no asexuality: those who have problems with sex have problems with their bodies and therefore have a disorder to solve. Sexuality is a primary drive and if it’s missing it means that there is a trauma that must be identified and resolved”
 
“But then you are 17 years old, you aren’t asexual, you simply haven’t found who opens your legs properly. Go fuck and don’t fuck with me” 
(In the message he says “asessuata”, in Italian there’s a huge difference between “asessuale” and “asessuato/a/*, the first one means not having genitals, the second one means don’t feel sexual attraction, so the first one is an insult for asexual people). 
 
Girl: “I’m sorry, I thought I could have a civilized, mature discussion with you, but obviously I was wrong”
 
Acephobe: “Your ass stinks of shit and your mouth stinks of milk. Get fucked by a Maghreb before you make serious speeches. Now go”
 
Girl: “I’ve got better things to do, good evening” 
 
Acephobe: *sends dickpic* 
“Suck the n****r cock and you’ll get over it, cow”


Asexual Bingo

Sometimes silly, sometimes serious, and always with lots of bad language and inappropriate graphics, here is a capsule view of the kinds of comments I get on my YouTube videos and through other channels regarding asexuality. And keeping track of how much fail I encountered was made easier with the handy-dandy Asexual Bingo card. (Believe me, I’ve heard EVERYTHING on it, but I had to cut a lot of stuff even to make this video.) If nothing else, this should give you an idea of how often certain sentiments are expressed and why these people’s knee-jerk condescending comments are not helping anyone and certainly aren’t doing much but making them look like their anger and frustration toward me for not wanting to have sex is way out of proportion for what people should be expressing about some stranger’s sex life.

The opening song is “Isabella” by the Mediæval Bæbes. And yes, I am really the age I say I am in the video. And thank you, yes my hair is pretty awesome.

Letters to an Asexual #47 (Religion and Asexuality)

This is #47 of a series in which I read correspondence between me and people who have questions, comments, or–more often–misconceptions about asexuality.

This video is about perspectives on asexuality within different religions. I share some other asexual people’s experiences and thoughts in a religious context.

Some religious quotes I mentioned:

“Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (NIV: 1 Corinthians 7:8-9).

On why Paul, who remained celibate, recommends marriage for those who desire sex: “I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.” (NIV: 1 Corinthians 7:6-7).

“[I]f one’s healthful condition, integrity of heart, and peace of soul reside in celibacy then that is better for him, since these are things that are desired of marriage. If one can reach these without marriage then celibacy causes no harm.” (The Sustenance of the Hearts (Qut al-qulub) —Abu Talib al-Makki)

“Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.” (Bereshit 1:28)

“Every man is obligated to marry a woman in order to reproduce. Anyone who is not having children is as if they were killers.” (Shulhan Arukh, Even Ha’Ezer 1:1)

TRIGGER WARNINGS:
Aphobia
Discussion sexual actions
Mention of PTSD and trauma
Mention of anxiety
Mention of rape

TRIGGER WARNINGS:
Aphobia
Emotional manipulation
Non-consensual touching, specifically through emotional manipulation

TRIGGER WARNINGS:
Acephobia/Aphobia
Misogynistic language
Invalidation of every orientation other than gay and straight

QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like

today some ace friends and i went to Tokyo Rainbow Pride where we were approached by a smug as fuck acephobic asshat. this video is dedicated to those who do not believe that acephobia and/or asexual erasure are a thing and to those who struggle dealing with people belittling the shit you deal with.

let there be video of acephobia & asexual erasure in action for the world to see.

——————–

※ what is acephobia?

fear, prejudice or discrimination against people within the asexual (ace) spectrum; the belief that asexuality is “unnatural”, “wrong” and/or a health issue that needs “correcting”.

※ what is asexual erasure?

denying the existence of asexuality, asexuals and other sexualities and people within the asexual spectrum; the lack of representation and misrepresentation of the asexual spectrum in the media.

——————-

visit me on Tumblr!

http://queerascat.tumblr.com

The hidden media is mostly pornographic material, including scat porn. Screenshots with the images do exist here. The password is VSHT.

Letters to an Asexual #15 (Asexual Prejudice & Discrimination)

This is #15 of a series in which I read correspondence between me and people who have questions, comments, or–more often–misconceptions about asexuality.

This one covers a question we sometimes get from a vocal minority in the queer community claiming asexual people absolutely do not have problems worth discussing because the very worst thing we ever experience is “hurt feelings” over people not acknowledging our orientation.

Here are the citations and links for everything mentioned in the video.

Siggy’s Breakdown of asexual queerness (orientation and gender identity):
http://skepticsplay.blogspot.com/2010…

My appearance at Creating Change (where I was invited to discuss asexuality at an LGBT conference):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3VnHa…

My interview in the Gay Voices section of the Huffington Post:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06…

The numbered list backups:

1. JOB AND HOUSING DENIAL:

* The study documenting asexual discrimination: “Intergroup Bias toward ‘Group X’: Evidence of prejudice, dehumanization, avoidance, and discrimination against asexuals”
http://gpi.sagepub.com/content/15/6/725

* An anecdotal account of possibly being fired for asexuality:
http://thecupcakeace.wordpress.com/20…

* A follow-up to this story by the same person:
http://thecupcakeace.wordpress.com/20…

2. ADOPTION DENIAL:

* Discussed in Olivier Cormier-Otaño’s lecture, wherein he mentioned asexual couples getting denied adoption because “If you’re asexual, you’re not fit to be married.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-cI61…

3. CONSUMMATION LAWS:

* These may change, but as of the creation of this video, the states requiring consummation for a marriage to be legal are here:
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Which_state…

* For laws regarding consummation as it refers to a couple that includes one immigrant, please see this document:
http://www.state.gov/documents/organi…

4. ANTI-DISCRIMINATION LAW:

* In New York, SONDA, the Sexual Orientation Non-Discrimination Act, mentions asexuality as one of the sexual orientations that cannot be discriminated against legally.
http://www.ag.ny.gov/civil-rights/son…

* In Vermont, asexuality is included in a “protected category” list under “sexual orientation”:
http://hrc.vermont.gov/

* The proposed legislation in Texas that names asexuality as a protected class is reported on in a news article here:
http://news.yahoo.com/could-texas-cit…

* The law paper by Elizabeth Emens, accepted by Standford Law Review, which thoroughly examines how asexual people live in a prejudicial environment and how that works out legally, is entitled “Compulsory Sexuality.”
http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cf…

5. “CORRECTIVE” RAPE:

* Huffington Post discussed “corrective” rape and how it’s hurting the asexual community here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06…

Here is a Tumblr thread where another user and I discuss rape threats:
http://swankivy.tumblr.com/post/50603…

* You can see some of the rape threats I have received here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncoHJo…

* And you can read about my experience with a man forcing himself on me after I told him I wasn’t interested here:
http://juliesondradecker.blogspot.jp/…

6. POOR REPRESENTATION IN MEDIA:

* Godiva’s is a Canadian show that is canceled. It featured an asexual heteroromantic man, Martin. He was “fixed” with testosterone supplements.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godiva%27s

* Huge is an American show that is canceled. It had an asexual aromantic woman, Poppy, in a minor role. She mentioned her asexuality once during a discussion with a fellow camp counselor and it was never mentioned again.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huge_%28…

* Shortland Street is a New Zealand show that is still going on as of this writing. It featured an asexual biromantic man, Gerald. His asexuality is examined deeply throughout the series.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shortlan…

Episodes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgju7Q…

The bad House episode is called “Better Half”:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Better_H…

7. MISDIAGNOSIS WITH A MENTAL DISORDER:

* DSM definition of Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder:
http://www.behavenet.com/node/21614

8. DEPRESSION AND SUICIDE:

* The Trevor Project: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

* Materials created by AAW for the Trevor Project’s volunteers:
http://asexualawarenessweek.com/trevo…

13 Stories of Asexual and Aromantic Oppression

Excerpt:

«Some things happened in the asexual and aromantic community this week and for the most part they were positive. I won’t go into detail now because this post is not about that. One thing that did happen was aces and aros getting some attention on the blogging platform tumblr. And not all of it good attention.

What I found particularly disturbing was repeated assertions that asexual and aromantic people do not experience oppression. This is so incorrect.

First of all, let me be clear what I mean when I say oppression. The word doesn’t necessarily mean being locked up or killed. It doesn’t have to mean systematic and deliberate acts by a Government. Oppression, in the context of social justice, means behaviours and words that marginalise and cause harm to a minority. It doesn’t have to be overt and it doesn’t have to be deliberate. All that’s required is that the victims are marginalised and that the behaviour is harmful: physically harmful, emotionally harmful, it doesn’t matter. It also doesn’t matter whether a person who is not part of the marginalised group in question thinks the act should be considered oppressive. It is up to the people experiencing the harm to say whether they feel oppressed.»


Read the whole article here.