Category: Claiming asexuality is celibacy or abstinence

“ASESSUALITÀ”: una nuova etichetta nata per giustificare un grave disturbo sessuale

Translation: Asexuality, a new label born to justify a serious sexual disease

Submitted and translated by “L’afobia esiste” @stop.afobia_ita

Excerpt, translated via Google translate:

«The lobby of LGBT associations, in fact, mistakenly tries to label these disorders as sexual orientations, even comparing “ASEXUALITY” to homosexuality, unfairly invoking criteria of freedom and non-discrimination to protect this minority. In reality, wanting to make a forced comparison, “ASEXUALITY” should be more properly compared to pedophilia, as both disorders are harmful sexual deviations. If pedophilia harms, unfortunately, third parties abused, “ASEXUALITY” is in any case detrimental to the personal balance of the person affected and any partner. The direct effect of asexual disorder is, of course, the impairment of one’s social and relational life conduct, which is affected by the difficulty of relating to a primary and atavistic drive such as sexual instinct. This damage is as serious as that caused by the opposite disorder, or hypersexuality, more commonly known as “nymphomania”.»


Read the whole article here.

Shit People Say to Asexuals

Need more info on asexuality? I have a book out. Buy or borrow a copy of The Invisible Orientation: http://juliesondradecker.com/?page_id…
Want to know more about why these statements/questions are inappropriate? Read the info sheet with explanations:
http://swankivy.com/writing/essays/ph…
If we come out to you, we probably don’t mind discussing our orientation, but pretty much anything recited in this video is probably a bad idea to say to us. . . . Don’t be afraid to talk to us or ask questions, but sometimes on the sensitive topics, you might be better off doing your own research. You may also like these for further reading/watching:
“How to Be an Asexual Ally,” my article:
http://goodvibesblog.com/how-to-be-an…
Asexual Bingo (my video of much more offensive quotes): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncoHJo…
The Asexual Visibility and Education Network:
http://asexuality.org

Thank you to my collaborators Nick, Axx, Kathryn, 65dgs, TungstenEdge, ampersandstringquartet, Dallas, Ace Amoeba, Chel, Rynn, Michael, CocoaPanda, Muffin, Sara Beth, and Raingoddess2040.

Letters to an Asexual #68 (“I don’t HATE aces; I pity them!”)

This is #68 of a series in which I read correspondence between me and people who have questions, comments, or–more often–misconceptions about asexuality. In this video, I read some comments on a mainstream media article where the fellow argues that nobody should hate or harass asexuals; we should all just feel sorry for them, and by no means should we treat them like this is a normal enough way to be. The difference must be acknowledged or someone might get the idea that it’s okay to live like that or something! Sheesh! 😀

Letters to an Asexual #55 (Mocking Asexuality)

This is #55 of a series in which I read correspondence between me and people who have questions, comments, or–more often–misconceptions about asexuality. In this video, I read a “humorous” article someone wrote about asexuality in which we were portrayed as hilariously worked up about what we don’t do, with multiple potshots at misrepresentations of our community. And then I explain why what this person did isn’t the kind of funny that is functionally distinct from bigotry and why some of his phrasing choices are super awful.

Reading My Asexual Hate Comments (Aphobia/Acephobia)

Check out the Sky News documentary to see the comments for yourself (there were many more than what I said here, some which are worse):

+ Facebook Comments: https://www.facebook.com/skynews/vide…
+ YouTube Comments: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzLrB…

SOCIAL MEDIA
+ Instagram: @theyasminbenoit
+ Twitter: @theyasminbenoit
+ Facebook: Yasmin Benoit – Model
+ Tumblr: yasminbenoit.tumblr.com

Christianity and Asexuality

Excerpts:

«Asexuality is in an odd place, compared to the other minority sexual orientations, when it comes to Christianity. Some religiously conservative Christians tolerate or even applaud asexuality while condemning all other non-heterosexual orientations. In that way, asexuality escapes the vitriol to which the LGBT* community is subjected*. But this leniency is often based out of a misunderstanding of asexuality– and it’s by no means universal. I know of other aces who’ve been told, by Christians (and others) that their asexuality is sinful, or even that they’re going to hell for it.

I’ve observed four primary areas of tension between asexuality and Christianity. The first is the mistaken idea that asexuality is voluntary, or is basically celibacy. The second is that asexuality isn’t a choice, but is still commendable. The third is that asexuality is preferable to being gay. The fourth is that asexuality is sinful. These ideas are probably familiar to anyone who does ace 101, but I believe this four ideas are so prevalent in Christian discussions of asexuality because of deeper beliefs that run strong in many Christian communities.»

«Christians who believe asexuality is sinful may be coming from one of a couple of places. If they are talking to or about female aces, they may be influenced by misogynistic ideas about women existing solely for marriage, children, and the sexual pleasure of men. If they’re speaking more generally, they may be operating off of the incorrect assumption that the nuclear family is the basic unit of, and integral to, Christianity. (If you are one of those Christians reading this, I suggest you go back and read the Matthew verse I referenced above.) Or, homophobia may have convinced them that heterosexuality is the only good sexual orientation, and therefore anything else must be condemned. Or, they may be under the mistaken impression that asexuality is “unnatural” and therefore sinful.»


Read the whole article here.

Things Asexual Girls DON’T Want to Hear

Is there anything you’re sick of hearing? Let me know in the comments! And feel free to follow me at:

Instagram: @theyasminbenoit
Tumblr: yasminbenoit.tumblr.com
Facebook: facebook.com/theyasminbenoit

#Asexual Vlog with the Gentle Giant #Ace: 5 statements #Aces do NOT want to hear

Hey y’all,i am back! I hope all is well,this video has been written for a while now and finally it has been made…The title says a lot alone! and has got me thinking about my experiences with being Asexual AND an Ace activist/advocate in my neck of the woods (Western Pennsylvania),the reactions are truly a wide range…For those outside of our community (especially those who don’t know about us and are watching this video),please take this as a lesson that questions and these responses can be damaging and hurtful…If you are curious about us,please come at us with respect and humanity…That request is so simple…Thank you…..Please thumbs up this video,share,and hit that SUBSCRIBE AND NOTIFICATION BUTTON….Thank y’all for the support..

Ace Buttons: https://www.cafepress.com/+asexual+bu…

Ace Mugs: https://www.lookhuman.com/asexual+mugs

Info on Asexuality and more: https://www.asexuality.org/

Support fellow Ace channels: QueerAsCat: https://www.youtube.com/user/QueerAsC…

AhsanteTheArtist: https://www.youtube.com/user/Ahsantet…

Yasmin Benoit: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk1N…

Janeil Darnell: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiNf…

Letters to an Asexual #15 (Asexual Prejudice & Discrimination)

This is #15 of a series in which I read correspondence between me and people who have questions, comments, or–more often–misconceptions about asexuality.

This one covers a question we sometimes get from a vocal minority in the queer community claiming asexual people absolutely do not have problems worth discussing because the very worst thing we ever experience is “hurt feelings” over people not acknowledging our orientation.

Here are the citations and links for everything mentioned in the video.

Siggy’s Breakdown of asexual queerness (orientation and gender identity):
http://skepticsplay.blogspot.com/2010…

My appearance at Creating Change (where I was invited to discuss asexuality at an LGBT conference):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3VnHa…

My interview in the Gay Voices section of the Huffington Post:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06…

The numbered list backups:

1. JOB AND HOUSING DENIAL:

* The study documenting asexual discrimination: “Intergroup Bias toward ‘Group X’: Evidence of prejudice, dehumanization, avoidance, and discrimination against asexuals”
http://gpi.sagepub.com/content/15/6/725

* An anecdotal account of possibly being fired for asexuality:
http://thecupcakeace.wordpress.com/20…

* A follow-up to this story by the same person:
http://thecupcakeace.wordpress.com/20…

2. ADOPTION DENIAL:

* Discussed in Olivier Cormier-Otaño’s lecture, wherein he mentioned asexual couples getting denied adoption because “If you’re asexual, you’re not fit to be married.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-cI61…

3. CONSUMMATION LAWS:

* These may change, but as of the creation of this video, the states requiring consummation for a marriage to be legal are here:
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Which_state…

* For laws regarding consummation as it refers to a couple that includes one immigrant, please see this document:
http://www.state.gov/documents/organi…

4. ANTI-DISCRIMINATION LAW:

* In New York, SONDA, the Sexual Orientation Non-Discrimination Act, mentions asexuality as one of the sexual orientations that cannot be discriminated against legally.
http://www.ag.ny.gov/civil-rights/son…

* In Vermont, asexuality is included in a “protected category” list under “sexual orientation”:
http://hrc.vermont.gov/

* The proposed legislation in Texas that names asexuality as a protected class is reported on in a news article here:
http://news.yahoo.com/could-texas-cit…

* The law paper by Elizabeth Emens, accepted by Standford Law Review, which thoroughly examines how asexual people live in a prejudicial environment and how that works out legally, is entitled “Compulsory Sexuality.”
http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cf…

5. “CORRECTIVE” RAPE:

* Huffington Post discussed “corrective” rape and how it’s hurting the asexual community here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06…

Here is a Tumblr thread where another user and I discuss rape threats:
http://swankivy.tumblr.com/post/50603…

* You can see some of the rape threats I have received here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncoHJo…

* And you can read about my experience with a man forcing himself on me after I told him I wasn’t interested here:
http://juliesondradecker.blogspot.jp/…

6. POOR REPRESENTATION IN MEDIA:

* Godiva’s is a Canadian show that is canceled. It featured an asexual heteroromantic man, Martin. He was “fixed” with testosterone supplements.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godiva%27s

* Huge is an American show that is canceled. It had an asexual aromantic woman, Poppy, in a minor role. She mentioned her asexuality once during a discussion with a fellow camp counselor and it was never mentioned again.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huge_%28…

* Shortland Street is a New Zealand show that is still going on as of this writing. It featured an asexual biromantic man, Gerald. His asexuality is examined deeply throughout the series.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shortlan…

Episodes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgju7Q…

The bad House episode is called “Better Half”:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Better_H…

7. MISDIAGNOSIS WITH A MENTAL DISORDER:

* DSM definition of Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder:
http://www.behavenet.com/node/21614

8. DEPRESSION AND SUICIDE:

* The Trevor Project: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

* Materials created by AAW for the Trevor Project’s volunteers:
http://asexualawarenessweek.com/trevo…